The Lover After Me
by Misha
Summary: Even though he's found someone else, she finds it so hard to move on.


The Lover After Me   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- I don't own either the song "The Lover After Me" or the characters of Days of Our Lives. They both belong to people with a lot more money than me and I'm not making money off this story, so please don't sue me. 

_Author's Notes- Alright, this is pretty angsty, but I'm in that kind of mood right now. This is a Phelle fic, with some minor Phloe, and it's set to "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden. Well, that's all for now, enjoy!_

_Here I go again   
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today   
It's been seven months and counting   
You've moved on   
I still feel exactly the same_

Seven months. It's been over seven months since Phillip left and I still can't let go. 

I still find myself thinking about him even when I promised myself I wouldn't. 

I still reach for him when I wake up in the morning. 

I still cry myself to sleep at night Ôcause he's not there. 

I know that he's moved on, but I don't know how to. I still feel the way I did when he left, as if I'll never feel again. 

I still can't believe he's gone. 

I especially can't believe that he's never coming back. 

_It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name   
Like photographs and memories of love   
Steel and granite reminders   
The city calls your name and I can't move on_

It seems like everywhere I go reminds me of him. 

This whole city... I always thought of it as **our** city. Yeah, we knew each other our entire lives, but it wasn't until we both came here that we got together. 

And even though he's not here anymore, Los Angeles still echoes of him. Every where I go, I think about him. 

Every time I vow I'm gonna move on, something else reminds me of him, and I can't. I can't let go. 

Not when the memories are still so fresh and the emotions are still so strong. 

_Ever since you've been gone   
The lights go out the same   
The only difference is   
You call another name   
To your love   
To you lover now   
To your love   
The lover after me_

Night time is the worst. When I go bed to alone, I'm aware of the place where he used to be. 

I'm also aware that wherever he is, he's not alone. 

_She's_ with him. The woman I could never be. The woman he eventually left me for. 

It hurts **so** bad to know that he's moved on. 

That there's someone else when only a few months ago, it was me. I was the one he held in his arms as he fell asleep, the one who's name he whispered in the night. 

Now it's her and I hate her for it. 

I hate the fact that she's got him and all I have is the memories and the pain. 

_Am I all alone in the universe? There's no love on these streets I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyways_

Sometimes I feel as if I'm all alone in the world. As if there's no one who understands me. And more than that, I feel empty. As if I have no emotions left to give. 

I gave all I had to Phillip and he threw it away. 

He didn't want my love, sometimes I wonder if he even wanted me, or if I was just a replacement. 

I don't know. I don't know anything any more. 

_So this is my new freedom   
It's funny   
I don't remember being chained   
But nothing seems to make sense anymore_

Some people say I'm lucky to be on my own. I'm free, there's no one in my life to answer to. I'm my own person. 

Yet, more than anything, I wish I **wasn't** free. I wish he was still here. 

I know I shouldn't, but I do. I miss him and I want him in my life again. 

I didn't even know that I **wasn't** free without him. This new Ôfreedom' feels so weird. 

But then again, without him, everything does. 

_Ever since you've been gone   
The lights go out the same   
The only difference is   
You call another name   
To your love   
To you lover now   
To your love   
The lover after me_

Deep down, I think I always knew he'd eventually go back to her. 

She was the one he always wanted, even when I was the one he held in his arms. 

The worst part is, I can't hate her. I knew what they shared, I knew that he'd always love her, want her. 

I just thought that I could change that. I thought that I could make him love me, want me, more than he wanted her. 

I was wrong. 

But it's not her fault, I know that. She can't help the fact that he will always love her more than he could ever love me. 

_And time goes by so slowly   
The nights are cold and lonely   
I shouldn't be holding on   
But I'm still holding on for you_

I know I should move on. Date again. 

But I can't. Somewhere deep inside, I still hope he'll come back. 

But rationally, I know he won't. I know it's over. 

Still, he's the one I want. He's the one I long for on those cold, lonely nights. 

Yet, he's never there. He's with her, not me. 

_Here I go again   
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today   
But I'm standing at your doorway   
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on_

A few weeks ago, when I was in Salem visiting my family, I actually went to his house. I was about to knock on the door, when I thought better of it. 

I can't face him. Now now. Not until I've moved on, like he has. 

Yet, I can't help thinking about him, no matter how hard I try not to. 

It's just so hard to let go... 

To face the fact that he left me. 

_Ever since you've been gone   
The lights go out the same   
The only difference is   
You call another name   
To your love   
To you lover now   
To your love   
The lover after me_

But I have to, I know that. 

Life has to go on. 

Phillip's gone. He left me. He went back to Chloe, just like, deep down, I always knew he would. 

I can't hang on to him forever. I wish I could. But I can't. 

He's gone. I have to accept that. 

He's not mine anymore. He's hers. 

He's her lover, not mine. 

He'll never be mine again, no matter how hard I wish it was so. 

He's with his her, the woman who's his lover now. 

The lover after me. 

The End 


End file.
